Ballad of Pokémon Go

These days when I see others glued to their phone,

I cannot help but let out a groan.

For I know they’re not texting and nor are they tweeting,

Because I am sure it’s Pokémon Go they are beating.


Everywhere I am, everyone I see,

Every place to which I journey, these creatures follows me.

A Ratatta here. A Pidgey over there.

Or perhaps a Zapdos, which is evidently more rare.


I can’t help but wonder, when people look my way,

Are they truly seeing me or simply hunting their prey.

Youths dart in front of my car, shouting “gotta catch ‘em all!”

Just be aware that next time, I will run over y’all.


Some people question why I abstain,

Well, give me a moment to explain all the pain:

When I was a child, my brothers laughed and smiled,

Pokémon on their gameboys got them all riled.

They traded those damn cards for hours each day,

But alas, they never once allowed me to play.


And now I am bitter; I’m filled with disdain.

And because I’m no quitter, I’ll never cease to complain.


And so I refuse to jump on this trend,

And I pray that eventually it will come to an end.

However it does not seem to be slowing,

Sadly the popularity is growing and growing.


So I suppose for now I will tolerate the game,

And maybe my sanity I shall begin to reclaim.

As the world quickly shifts to a new status quo

Encompassing all that is Pokémon Go.