Chipotle Experiment

Well it was about 12:30pm and lunch was right around the corner. My co-worker Adam suggested Chipotle for lunch.

It seems like there are two primary schools of thought surrounding Chipotle: Chipotle is either your all-time favorite restaurant and you suggest it as a restaurant option even while at another restaurant, or you openly detest Chipotle and express that loudly while in line at Chipotle. Both are annoying. I don’t fall under either of those as I am mostly indifferent and not annoying, but I guess I’ve had generally average experiences. All this to say, I agreed to go to Chipotle.

My only (very) real issue with Chipotle is that they have cilantro in both their brown and white rice. That is ALL the rice. Unlike my attitude toward Chipotle as a whole, cilantro is something I am vehemently against. I hate it. Cilantro is that person who puts a dirty fork in a dishwater full of freshly cleaned dishes. Cilantro is that friend who spoils the movie like, while you’re watching the movie. Cilantro is that guy at the party who trips over the power cord and shuts off the music and subsequent fun. Basically cilantro ruins everything.

However, despite how much I hate it, I usually order the rice anyway because what is a burrito bowl without rice? It is a salad.

 

Anyways, I’ve been tolerating this disgustingly flavored rice in my burrito bowls for years. I guess I’m just a silent sufferer, a martyr of sorts. But for some reason, today I decided perhaps I could try to find an alternative to misery. While in line at Chipotle, I began plotting.

Once it was my turn to order, in true entrepreneurial fashion, I boldly asked, “do you by any chance have rice without cilantro?”

What my voice lacked in hope, it made up for in desperation. The expression on my face was that of someone who had been burned before at restaurants – been brought the wrong order, been left too long without a drink refill, been told “wow someone was hungry!!!” on a date by a waiter, etc.

So I stood there, hands shaking, eyes wide, unsure of what was to come, wondering whether I should’ve even asked, hoping for the best but anticipating a burrito bowl being thrown in my face. Until finally the woman taking my order responded: “yeah hold on.” and then turned around.

 

YEAH”!! I WOULD hold on!! So many thoughts raced around my head. I can enjoy my meal! Why haven’t I ever asked about this before? What other cilantro-less options have I been missing out on? Should I ask about dairy-free queso too? (negative.) Should I ask about cilantro-less guacamole? (negative.) Should I dye my hair darker? (unrelated but have been toying with for a while so naturally it came up.)

Today was ground-breaking. My burrito bowl was unforgettable, but more importantly, I learned a valuable lesson about knowing what you want and asking for it –

– at least, knowing what you want and asking for it in terms of ordering food at Chipotle. Because when it comes to my dietary restrictions and overall pickiness, asking for alternatives usually results in disappointment and being deemed as high maintenance. So I didn’t really need this lesson because I indeed know what I want and I ask for it constantly to no avail. But in this specific instance, at Chipotle, in the form of relatively decent rice, lesson learned!!!!

Sans cilantro, my burrito bowl was less bad but not necessarily any better, so I’d still rate Chipotle around the same as before today. But I digress.

Just Tryin’ to Help

If I had a nickel for every time someone asked me to help them come up with a title for a food blog, I would thus far have one nickel because my sister-in-law just asked me. I would also need alternative sources of income because you can’t buy anything for a nickel these days. I don’t know why Jenni asked me for help considering she’s much punnier than I am, but I’m glad she did because let me tell ya, it was an enjoyable brainstorming session.

So, in the time I could’ve spent studying for something, here are some thrilling/dreadful (you decide) titles I’ve crafted for your viewing pleasure:

(Feel free to use any of them if you’re an aspiring food blogger. But I would like to be financially compensated in the form of baked goods. And money.) 

 
 

If you want to incorporate the word “blog” into your title:

On the Chopping Blog

Sugar Snap Please Read My Blog

If You Can’t Handle My Blog, Get Out of the Kitchen

Eat Pray Blog
 

Song titles:

Brownie Eyed Girl

Thyme after Thyme (my personal fave, which I stole from Jenni)

Love Me Like You Dough

All About That Baste

I Knead You to Knead Me (it’s just a lyric, but it’ll do)

Live Like You Were Fryin’

Uptown Faux Fur Funk (this one could be for a fashion blog. I realize it’s unrelated, but it’s stuck in my head… I guess I could have said Uptown Food Funk or something. Oh well.)
 

Pop Culture References:

Beauty & the Feast

Grillmore Girl

Glazed & Confused

Whisky Business

Spice Girl (you may run into copyright issues with this one, but I – and if you don’t agree, I wouldn’t read your blog anyway – would take every opportunity to share my story of being sued by the Spice Girls)

Legally Blend

Justin TimberBake With Me

Bakestreet Boys

Bakeyoncé (you may notice I’ve resorted to just adding “bake” to everything and I apologize for that)

Gossip Grill
 

Suggestively Offensive:

Lovin’ From the Oven (followed by a winky face)

I Like Big Butternut Squash & I Cannot Lie

You Can Add Wine to Anything Even Breakfast

Honky Tonk Badonka-diced Veggies

Fifty Shades of Gravy

What the Fork
 

If your first name is Katie and your last name is Moore (there’s a surprising number of us) and you want to incorporate that into your title:

Add Moore to Your Meals (cute but also a slightly disturbing double-entendre)

Moorsels of Knowledge

Cookin’ With Katie

Eat Moore Cake

Kt’s Kitchen (this one would be boring unless you abbreviate “Katie.” You know what, no. It’s still boring)

Caramelize It (if your name is Cara)
 

Tragically do not belong to any particular category:

Dine & Dash of Salt

Orange You Glad My Blog is About More Than Just Oranges?

Read It Then Eat It

Wheat Are You Lookin’ At?

It Was Nice to Meat You

I’m Not Even Yokin’

Say Cheeeeese 
 
 

I’m sorry that last one was kind of cheesy.. Honestly, writing this blog has just made me hungry. I don’t think I could be a food blogger because I would just stop mid-sentence and go eat. Maybe I should be a life coach-esque blogger of inspirational pep talks and then I might stop mid-sentence to discover something or begin a cool new hobby. But alas, being productive makes me hungry too so I’ll just stick to this.