Faded

How was your day today? Mine was swell. With one exception: I gave a presentation during class today and it fell flat. Pun intended. I’ll explain later.

If you’ve ever wondered what goes through a girl’s head in the moments immediately before she passes out, keep readin’:


I’m doing great. Look how interested these fools look at what I’m saying. I’m killing this. It’s a tad warm in here though… It’s alright I’ll be done soon.

Wow. Seriously toasty. Like, I don’t remember agreeing to give this presentation on the surface of the sun. Did the fire sprinklers just go off? Oh, no, it’s just me sweating. I’ll ignore it.

Why is everyone all of sudden blurred versions of themselves? Am I drunk? Wait. No. I can’t be. It’s 3 pm.

Man I need some water.

Me: “Sorry.. I’m gonna get some water.”

*********************************************************************************************************

Ok now I know someone just turned the light off because it’s pitch black in here. Is this a practical joke? Where’s Ashton?

Is my life flashing before my eyes? At this point I should be reliving all my favorite moments from my life with those I love, right? So why am I only seeing Flo the Progressive chick and Jennifer Lawrence’s 2011 Oscars dress? What does this say about me?

Oh dear I am definitely on the ground.

FLASHBACK to being in the gym at basketball practice in high school. Still on the ground. But that would be nothing new.

BACK to the present. Where am I? Did someone just chuck a brick at my face because wow. Pain. Wait why am I on the ground? Who the hell are these people? OH GOD I’m in class aren’t I….

Yep. There’s my professor, hovering over me, confused, panicked, hesitant.

Prof: “Katie are you ok..?”

Me: “Yeah I’m sorry about that. Public speaking, am I right?”

Prof: “Aren’t you a PR major…?”

Me: “Did I get an A?”

*chuckles*
Prof: “Why don’t you go lie down somewhere? There’s no need to finish today.”

Me: “Ok cool because that fainting episode was a lot more exciting than my presentation was going to be.”

Prof: “I’m gonna pretend you said that while you were still unconscious.”


I got up and took a bow (I didn’t actually take a bow) and the class applauded as I left the room (this actually did happen. They clapped. Like, kill me now.)

So the lesson here is: kids, stay in school. Unless your heart rate starts skyrocketing and you feel yourself overheating, in which case you should def leave school for the day.

*but don’t expect BJs to comp your pizookie out of pity. They simply will not understand how much you deserve a free pizookie today.