Matchmaker

Do you find yourself feeling a little extra lonely these days? Are you strolling down the “meals for one” aisle just a bit too frequently? Do you wish, once and for all, that you could just know which celebrity you’re supposed to marry?!

Well, today is your lucky day. I’ve created a quiz just for YOU! Find out which beautiful person is awaiting your affection. Trust me, you can’t go wrong!

 

 

Which of these people do you admire the most?

A. Ellen.

B. Beyonce.

C. Mark Cuban.

D. a Kardashian.

 

Which of these is your go-to show?

A. Parks & Rec.

B. The Hills.

C. Game of Thrones.

D. Duck Dynasty.

 

What’s a weird thing you do?

A. I judge people based on whether or not I think they would agree to sing a karaoke duet with me.

B. I check behind the shower curtain when I use someone else’s restroom. Just to make sure I’m alone.

C. I make eye contact with strangers stopped next to me at a red light. I’m convinced I will meet my spouse this way.

D. I don’t watch a lot of TV.

 

What is your biggest pet peeve?

A. When people say “..and I” when it’s supposed to be “..and me.” SOMETIMES IT’S “..AND ME” FOLKS.

B. When people say “he/she is the funniest person I know” while talking to me (the actual funniest person).

C. Taking pictures with other people.

D. When people start every sentence with: “well, when I was abroad…”

 

Which song describes your life?

A. “Dancing Through Life” from Wicked.

B. anything by Drake.

C. “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls.

D. “Mambo No. 5” by Lou Bega.

 

What is your go-to fake identity?

A. A British exchange student named Natalie.

B. I use my real identity, but I add that I am deathly allergic to cilantro. (I use this one at restaurants when I don’t want cilantro)

C. A 90-year-old woman forced to age backwards as a sort of Benjamin Button situation.

D. Seriously? Do people actually do this?

 

What’s your dream role?

A. Gaston from Beauty & the Beast.

B. Rachel Green.

C. Voldemort.

D. Allie from the Notebook.

 

What’s your best trait?

A. I know every word to every Eminem song ever written.

B. I’m really good at celebrity impressions.

C. My eyebrows never turn red after a wax.

D. I tan easily.

 

Which of these is your ideal friend?

A. Someone who likes to eat dinner at 4.

B. Someone whose more photogenic side is the opposite of mine so we can take pictures together. (literally, my other half)

C. Someone with a “Honk if you think I’m sexy” bumper sticker.

D. (if you’re blonde) Someone brunette whom I can refer to as “My Blair.” (if you’re brunette) Someone blonde whom I can refer to as “My Serena.”

 

Do you change your toothbrush every 3 months?

A. Every 3 months on the dot. It’s dentist-recommended after all.

B. Mine’s electric. Get with the times.

C. You’re supposed to change your toothbrush every 3 months?

D. You’re supposed to change your toothbrush?

 

 
 

Results

 
 

 

If you answered mostly A’s: You got Katie Moore!

You and Katie both have flawless taste in just about everything. There are no two people moore destined to be together. As a couple, you will restore love and peace to the world!
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If you answered mostly B’s: You got Katie Moore!

You and Katie have a lot in common. You’re both hilarious, attractive, clever and incredibly humble. It’s not cockiness if it’s truth.
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If you answered mostly C’s: You got Katie Moore!

There’s a reacher and settler in every relationship… We all know who the reacher is in this one. And it’s you. Thank goodness you have Katie in your life – never let her go.
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If you answered mostly D’s: Here’s a shocker, you got Katie Moore!

Wow, well I suppose opposites really do attract. You and Katie would certainly balance each other out and your constant disagreements will keep things exciting.
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Dallas According to Katie

I moved to Dallas for a summer internship. After one week in this city, I have a few thoughts.

On Day 1, I wore Nike shorts and wet hair to The HEB Platinum (this is how I refer to Tom Thumb and/or other Dallas grocery stores) and I have not made that mistake since. People do not leave their homes unless they actually look presentable. This is new for me. Sometimes I’ll see a woman in yoga pants, but I can tell by her hairsprayed curls and flawless makeup that she did not come from the gym nor is she on her way to the gym. Nonetheless [insert any Dallas female] still looks better in “workout” gear than I do with real clothes on.

Luckily, I moved just in time to avoid the bring-your-own-bag rule at stores. Perhaps that changed because shoplifters were the target audience. I’m a little annoyed that it’s no longer a thing – I just bought all these cute bags to carry around the grocery store. However, I had to first buy bags to bring with me upon purchasing the cute bags, so you can imagine how many extra bags I am now burdened with.

 

Driving in Dallas is more terrifying to me than a montage of Chucky films. Trains appear quite literally out of nowhere. Everyone I’ve asked about this has told me I will probably not be hit by a train as long as I hear the sound which precedes a train’s appearance. Therefore I no longer listen to music. If someone is riding in my passenger’s seat, they too are to be silent. No sounds in the car anymore ever again. I will not be hit by a train. If I am going to die in Dallas, it will be from overdosing on popsicles (why are they so delicious here?).

Here’s something fun though! I’ve finally gotten to use my car horn! I’ve never actually used it in a real-life situation, but Dallas Katie has serious road rage. That newfound rage – coupled with the fact that cars decide at a moment’s notice to just park randomly in the far right lane with no warning or indication – makes for some exciting, yet permanently silent, driving adventures.

I would like to think that I’ll have time to explore the stimulating cultural exhibitions Dallas has to offer me, but I’ve calculated that most of my day is spent navigating some parking garage or another. The remaining hours are spent in elevators or aimlessly roaming around Whole Foods in awe of how many gluten-free, dairy-free, vegetarian meals there actually are. A lot. There are a lot.

 

Hindering my effort to make friends, I keep getting all the hundreds of Dallas sports teams confused. The Rangers do not in fact play the Cowboys and I guess there’s a hockey team or something? Oddly enough, no one seems to want to discuss the Spurs so I’m sort of at a loss. If I ever do pick a sport and go to any games, I would certainly not drive there myself (i.e. trains).

Despite the many Mavericks fans, the immense pressure to wear actual clothes and driving in general, I actually really enjoy living in Dallas. Stuff here stays open past 8 pm! And boys constantly walk around in suits. There’s an Anthropologie at the mall, so it’s already a step ahead of Waco, and I haven’t yet gotten stuck behind a tractor, so it’s already 10 points ahead of Boerne! Not too shabby.