Thanksgiving is just around the corner and there are so many people and things in my life for which I am thankful. For starters, thank you Mom for instilling in me a desperate need to be grammatically correct and never allowing me to end a sentence in a preposition.
So, in no particular order, here are a few things I’m thankful for (spoke too soon about that preposition thing):
The Flash. The iPhone’s flash can turn a 2 into a 10, a Shrek into an Emma Watson. If every time you take a picture, you think to yourself, “wait no one told me when I left home this morning that I look like an 85 year old elephant seal (this is a real animal but don’t google it if you have a weak stomach),” there’s a simple solution: turn on the flash. Once you do, you’re guaranteed long, tan legs and flawless skin. Day, night, whatever, whenever, the flash saves lives.
Netflix. But not for the reason you would assume. I’m thankful for the productivity-crushing existence of Netflix because, without it, I would probably be ultra-successful by now and in possession of a small but respectable fortune. If this were the case, I may let all that money and success go to my head and I wouldn’t be the lovable, reliable, humble person I am today. Thank you for consuming my time and ultimately keeping me grounded, Netflix!
Stray coat hangers. I never seem to have enough coat hangers. Even after I’ve counted all the coat hangers and each article of clothing in my closet and concluded there are equal amounts of both (I have a lot of time on my hands some days), I still somehow end up with fewer coat hangers than clothes. So, finding a stray coat hanger on the ground or hiding behind a jacket I have yet to wear (see previous blog) is a game-changer. It’s the little things, guys.
Freshmen on campus. I can always rely on a freshman to be more confused than I am about any given subject on any given day. I don’t know it’s just comforting.
All of you people who still have Facebook. Don’t give up your social media. How else would you see my blog? No one would willingly go to ktmoorektmoore.com. But if someone did, I can’t decide if I’d be flattered or concerned. I’m just kidding. I’d be ridiculously flattered. I will consider all Lent-related Facebook deletions as personal attacks. How dare you (in advance).
My roommate’s musical taste.
Currently, in our home: Thin walls + her combo of Beyoncé & Broadway tunes = happy mornings and happy Katie. She’s the Elphaba to my Glinda, but with less green skin and more tolerance of the laws of gravity.
What it could have been with a different roommate: Thin walls + Pitbull & Paris Hilton(’s attempts) = an intense, multifaceted kind of suffering. And what if she liked Rihanna…? I shudder to imagine this alternate reality.
The Waco Starbucks for having my order ready before I even get there. Y’all know me better than anyone. However, now that I think about it….you brew coffee consistently throughout the day so I guess you have everyone’s order ready before they get there? I thought I was special, how very wrong I was. Consider yourself officially removed from this list. I’m taking my talents to the South Beach Starbs.
Madeline Sneed. I promised you a shout out weeks ago. Here it is. On a scale of 1 to Really Cool, you’re a Jet from West Side Story – “cool” originated there.
Accidentally running nine miles. You know when you step on the treadmill with the intention of running a mile and you look down after a while and realize you’ve unknowingly gone nine or ten miles? This hasn’t happened to me yet, but when it does I am extremely prepared to be thankful for it.
Attractive men who flirt with me. It’s really a confidence booster when an attractive man walks up and starts talking to me. Ok attractive is a stretch, but he’s a man nonetheless. A real man. Ok whatever he’s not quite old enough to be considered a man. Oh my goodness ok whatever it’s my dog but no one can deny how adorable Tony is. Fine so I do all the talking but he sometimes acknowledges me.
Needless to say, I have a lot of blessings in my life (spoiler alert: most of them are not mentioned above), but most of all I’m thankful for my family. Y’all are like the Waco Starbucks – you tolerate me even when I don’t deserve it. But I don’t even have to pay you! For now. Happy Thanksgiving everyone, now go hug your families for me. But don’t tell them it’s from me that’s a little weird. Hugs aren’t universally accepted. Cheers!