Diary of a Hottie

Leggings and North Face’s and riding boots oh my! The few days of Winter is upon us! This is definitely my favorite time of year. Everyone is freezing and no one wants to get out of bed, but I just want to stand outside all day and breathe in those frigid gusts of bliss until the sun goes down. I’m not weird, I’m just naturally hot all the time.

 

My only complaint during this time of year is that people feel the need to jack up the heat when it’s mildly chilly outside. It’s 31 degrees out there so logically, it should be 91 degrees in this classroom. Yes, that’s rational.

Wait, no it’s not. Once you walk through the doors of a building, you are no longer outside. Unless I’m mistaken and my classes are actually held inside igloos, it is not as cold inside as it is outside. In fact, I don’t even think it’s as cold inside an igloo as it is outside the igloo. Then again, I’m not an igloo expert. I’d like to meet someone who is though. What a fascinating life they must lead.

 

What I really want for Christmas is an “I’m not bitter, I’m just hot-natured” bumper sticker. I’m sure it would have to be custom-made because I’m almost positive no one else has ever said that. It’s not exactly a commonly used phrase.

My point is: turning the AC off is fine. But I have a fundamental problem with blasting the heat. I feel like I’m aflame all day.

 

“Layers are key.” That’s what people tell me. Yes. But. I can only take off so many layers before I start attracting the wrong kinds of friends. I would have worn Nike shorts this morning if it were socially acceptable. But alas, I have to settle for a tank top underneath a light cardigan. I actually don’t even have a jacket here in Waco.

 

I have a dreadful habit of chain-purchasing over-sized sweaters from Urban Outfitters that I’m never cold enough to wear. I just want to fit in and have a winter wardrobe like everyone else. But I simply cannot escape the fact that I will never be like everyone else; I will never have a winter wardrobe. Unless you count my “Flawless” sweatshirt that I can wear during sun or snow (and if you don’t count that, well your opinion matters very little to me anyway).

 

It saddens me a bit to think of all the potential relationships I’ve missed out on during the wintertime. Perhaps it’s that whole “bonding over a common enemy” dynamic where Cold is the enemy. There must be solidarity in shivering. I’ve never made a friend out of a sheer body heat necessity. I didn’t realize that was a thing. And this whole concept of cuddling in front of a fire – what’s the draw? You’re already indoors, not to mention next to a fire, why do you also need another person’s warmth? That sounds like a sweaty mess. This is of course taking into account the belief that cuddling is strictly out of utility, in which case, I’d rather cuddle in the snow…with an ice cube.

 

For some reason, people become distressed when I am not as cold as they are. It’s unnerving to them. But, tolerating the cold is not me trying to say, “I am better than you.” I can and do do that in a myriad of other ways. No, I simply choose to dress for 25 degrees warmer than it actually is due to my body’s physical demand. Being cold doesn’t make you less of person, just like not being cold doesn’t make me less of a person. (Try not to not ignore the double negatives in that last sentence.) On the other hand, thriving in the cold does make me more of a person. Double standards are a part of our society; accept it.

 

 

I guess what I’m trying to say is this weather is absolutely perfect. And please continue to be my friend despite seeing me in shorts and a t-shirt when it snows. It’s not easy being a hottie (both inside and out), but it’s a burden I must embrace.

 

 

 

 

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