“Basic”: your run-of-the-mill sorority girl that has no identity of her own. She has no redeeming unique qualities…whatever is popular, she is into whether she likes it or not personally.
I would like to think I’ve made an effort to combat the above Urban Dictionary definition of myself, but when it comes to my Starbucks order…I’ve accepted it. In fact, I’ve embraced it. I put on an XL shirt and tall socks just to drive to Starbs. Also you may have noticed I just abbreviated Starbucks to Starbs. Again, I’ve embraced it. But this post is not simply about being basic; it’s much more than that. As you may have guessed, this post is about being a basic frequenter of Starbucks.
Long story short, I had my first Peppermint Mocha of the season today.
Sidenote: if the mere mention of a Peppermint Mocha didn’t incite a self high-five, we can’t be friends. (To be clear, if holiday drinks don’t bring a smile to your face, I probably don’t trust you.)
I actually heard a dude whisper, “So basic…” after the barista proclaimed, “Grande skinny Peppermint Mocha for Katie?!” (Granted, making something “skinny” attaches a sororistic* quality to any otherwise normal Starbucks order. But can you blame me? Hello I really wanna lose three pounds.)
*If you try to look up “sororistic”, you won’t find it. I just made it up and I’m pretty proud of it so here’s to hoping the Winklevoss twins don’t rob me of my innovations.
It’s just remarkable how one drink (or in this case, even one sip) can alter your entire mood/day/semester. There are a few common sensations you have probably experienced or will (if you’re not basic enough to have tried it yet) experience throughout the first Peppermint Mocha adventure of the season. I have listed some of them for you:
- “Ahh yes this taste brings me back (or brings me forward – depending on whether you see your cup half-full or empty these days) to Christmas time: a time when finals are over and I’m home and everything is happy. But alas, I am quickly reminded that it is not in fact Christmas and finals have yet to begin. Should I start studying for finals…? Ok. After I finish my drink. Next week.”
- “Oh it’s so warm and comforting as I gulp my liquid happy place. It warms my whole body…like really warm, why is it this warm? It’s actually piping hot.. I now realize I’ve spilled it on myself. But not to worry, I’m not embarrassed nor am I concerned (about anything) during the entirety of my makeshift holiday experience. Nope. During those few minutes of consumption, nothing matters except for the reminder that Christmas is a thing and it will eventually be upon us.”
- “I can get through this day! I can get through this semester! I can run for President of United States!” You’ve now entered the false-sense-of-confidence phase of ingesting too much caffeine. But don’t worry, by the time you finish your ambitious to-do list, you’re riding the downward spiral of a post-caffeine crash. You tell yourself it’s all about the intentions, though. Reassurance is key. So go email the people in charge of the triathlon you just registered for and withdraw your name.
- “Man should I be colder than this right now? I’m drinking a holiday drink so it really should be snowing outside. Maybe I’ll put on a sweatshirt to trick my mind aaaaand awesome now I’m sweating why is it 91 degrees it’s CHRISTMAS. D*MN YOU STARBUCKS.”
Despite the few negative effects those pre-season holiday drinks induce, the regular season ones are well worth it and the playoffs are just around the corner. I’ve lost my train of thought. But go Spurs! Alright well I’m off to Starbs, merry Christmas to all and to all a Peppermint Mocha. #basically