Things That Don’t Get Enough Credit

 

Thanksgiving is just around the corner and there are so many people and things in my life for which I am thankful. For starters, thank you Mom for instilling in me a desperate need to be grammatically correct and never allowing me to end a sentence in a preposition.

So, in no particular order, here are a few things I’m thankful for (spoke too soon about that preposition thing):

 

 

 

The Flash. The iPhone’s flash can turn a 2 into a 10, a Shrek into an Emma Watson. If every time you take a picture, you think to yourself, “wait no one told me when I left home this morning that I look like an 85 year old elephant seal (this is a real animal but don’t google it if you have a weak stomach),” there’s a simple solution: turn on the flash. Once you do, you’re guaranteed long, tan legs and flawless skin. Day, night, whatever, whenever, the flash saves lives.

 

 

Netflix. But not for the reason you would assume. I’m thankful for the productivity-crushing existence of Netflix because, without it, I would probably be ultra-successful by now and in possession of a small but respectable fortune. If this were the case, I may let all that money and success go to my head and I wouldn’t be the lovable, reliable, humble person I am today. Thank you for consuming my time and ultimately keeping me grounded, Netflix!

 

 

Stray coat hangers. I never seem to have enough coat hangers. Even after I’ve counted all the coat hangers and each article of clothing in my closet and concluded there are equal amounts of both (I have a lot of time on my hands some days), I still somehow end up with fewer coat hangers than clothes. So, finding a stray coat hanger on the ground or hiding behind a jacket I have yet to wear (see previous blog) is a game-changer. It’s the little things, guys.

 

 

Freshmen on campus. I can always rely on a freshman to be more confused than I am about any given subject on any given day. I don’t know it’s just comforting.

 

 

All of you people who still have Facebook. Don’t give up your social media. How else would you see my blog? No one would willingly go to ktmoorektmoore.com. But if someone did, I can’t decide if I’d be flattered or concerned. I’m just kidding. I’d be ridiculously flattered. I will consider all Lent-related Facebook deletions as personal attacks. How dare you (in advance).

 

 

My roommate’s musical taste.

Currently, in our home: Thin walls + her combo of Beyoncé & Broadway tunes = happy mornings and happy Katie. She’s the Elphaba to my Glinda, but with less green skin and more tolerance of the laws of gravity.

What it could have been with a different roommate: Thin walls + Pitbull & Paris Hilton(’s attempts) = an intense, multifaceted kind of suffering. And what if she liked Rihanna…? I shudder to imagine this alternate reality.

 

 

The Waco Starbucks for having my order ready before I even get there. Y’all know me better than anyone. However, now that I think about it….you brew coffee consistently throughout the day so I guess you have everyone’s order ready before they get there? I thought I was special, how very wrong I was. Consider yourself officially removed from this list. I’m taking my talents to the South Beach Starbs.

 

 

Madeline Sneed. I promised you a shout out weeks ago. Here it is. On a scale of 1 to Really Cool, you’re a Jet from West Side Story – “cool” originated there.

 

 

Accidentally running nine miles. You know when you step on the treadmill with the intention of running a mile and you look down after a while and realize you’ve unknowingly gone nine or ten miles? This hasn’t happened to me yet, but when it does I am extremely prepared to be thankful for it.

 

 

Attractive men who flirt with me. It’s really a confidence booster when an attractive man walks up and starts talking to me. Ok attractive is a stretch, but he’s a man nonetheless. A real man. Ok whatever he’s not quite old enough to be considered a man. Oh my goodness ok whatever it’s my dog but no one can deny how adorable Tony is. Fine so I do all the talking but he sometimes acknowledges me.

 

 

 

 

 

Needless to say, I have a lot of blessings in my life (spoiler alert: most of them are not mentioned above), but most of all I’m thankful for my family. Y’all are like the Waco Starbucks – you tolerate me even when I don’t deserve it. But I don’t even have to pay you! For now. Happy Thanksgiving everyone, now go hug your families for me. But don’t tell them it’s from me that’s a little weird. Hugs aren’t universally accepted. Cheers!

 

 

 

 

Diary of a Hottie

Leggings and North Face’s and riding boots oh my! The few days of Winter is upon us! This is definitely my favorite time of year. Everyone is freezing and no one wants to get out of bed, but I just want to stand outside all day and breathe in those frigid gusts of bliss until the sun goes down. I’m not weird, I’m just naturally hot all the time.

 

My only complaint during this time of year is that people feel the need to jack up the heat when it’s mildly chilly outside. It’s 31 degrees out there so logically, it should be 91 degrees in this classroom. Yes, that’s rational.

Wait, no it’s not. Once you walk through the doors of a building, you are no longer outside. Unless I’m mistaken and my classes are actually held inside igloos, it is not as cold inside as it is outside. In fact, I don’t even think it’s as cold inside an igloo as it is outside the igloo. Then again, I’m not an igloo expert. I’d like to meet someone who is though. What a fascinating life they must lead.

 

What I really want for Christmas is an “I’m not bitter, I’m just hot-natured” bumper sticker. I’m sure it would have to be custom-made because I’m almost positive no one else has ever said that. It’s not exactly a commonly used phrase.

My point is: turning the AC off is fine. But I have a fundamental problem with blasting the heat. I feel like I’m aflame all day.

 

“Layers are key.” That’s what people tell me. Yes. But. I can only take off so many layers before I start attracting the wrong kinds of friends. I would have worn Nike shorts this morning if it were socially acceptable. But alas, I have to settle for a tank top underneath a light cardigan. I actually don’t even have a jacket here in Waco.

 

I have a dreadful habit of chain-purchasing over-sized sweaters from Urban Outfitters that I’m never cold enough to wear. I just want to fit in and have a winter wardrobe like everyone else. But I simply cannot escape the fact that I will never be like everyone else; I will never have a winter wardrobe. Unless you count my “Flawless” sweatshirt that I can wear during sun or snow (and if you don’t count that, well your opinion matters very little to me anyway).

 

It saddens me a bit to think of all the potential relationships I’ve missed out on during the wintertime. Perhaps it’s that whole “bonding over a common enemy” dynamic where Cold is the enemy. There must be solidarity in shivering. I’ve never made a friend out of a sheer body heat necessity. I didn’t realize that was a thing. And this whole concept of cuddling in front of a fire – what’s the draw? You’re already indoors, not to mention next to a fire, why do you also need another person’s warmth? That sounds like a sweaty mess. This is of course taking into account the belief that cuddling is strictly out of utility, in which case, I’d rather cuddle in the snow…with an ice cube.

 

For some reason, people become distressed when I am not as cold as they are. It’s unnerving to them. But, tolerating the cold is not me trying to say, “I am better than you.” I can and do do that in a myriad of other ways. No, I simply choose to dress for 25 degrees warmer than it actually is due to my body’s physical demand. Being cold doesn’t make you less of person, just like not being cold doesn’t make me less of a person. (Try not to not ignore the double negatives in that last sentence.) On the other hand, thriving in the cold does make me more of a person. Double standards are a part of our society; accept it.

 

 

I guess what I’m trying to say is this weather is absolutely perfect. And please continue to be my friend despite seeing me in shorts and a t-shirt when it snows. It’s not easy being a hottie (both inside and out), but it’s a burden I must embrace.

 

 

 

 

Holiday Drinks Are Upon Us

“Basic”:  your run-of-the-mill sorority girl that has no identity of her own. She has no redeeming unique qualities…whatever is popular, she is into whether she likes it or not personally.

 

I would like to think I’ve made an effort to combat the above Urban Dictionary definition of myself, but when it comes to my Starbucks order…I’ve accepted it. In fact, I’ve embraced it. I put on an XL shirt and tall socks just to drive to Starbs. Also you may have noticed I just abbreviated Starbucks to Starbs. Again, I’ve embraced it. But this post is not simply about being basic; it’s much more than that. As you may have guessed, this post is about being a basic frequenter of Starbucks.

 

Long story short, I had my first Peppermint Mocha of the season today.

Sidenote: if the mere mention of a Peppermint Mocha didn’t incite a self high-five, we can’t be friends. (To be clear, if holiday drinks don’t bring a smile to your face, I probably don’t trust you.)

I actually heard a dude whisper, “So basic…” after the barista proclaimed, “Grande skinny Peppermint Mocha for Katie?!” (Granted, making something “skinny” attaches a sororistic* quality to any otherwise normal Starbucks order. But can you blame me? Hello I really wanna lose three pounds.)

*If you try to look up “sororistic”, you won’t find it. I just made it up and I’m pretty proud of it so here’s to hoping the Winklevoss twins don’t rob me of my innovations.

 

It’s just remarkable how one drink (or in this case, even one sip) can alter your entire mood/day/semester. There are a few common sensations you have probably experienced or will (if you’re not basic enough to have tried it yet) experience throughout the first Peppermint Mocha adventure of the season. I have listed some of them for you:

 

 

  • “Ahh yes this taste brings me back (or brings me forward – depending on whether you see your cup half-full or empty these days) to Christmas time: a time when finals are over and I’m home and everything is happy. But alas, I am quickly reminded that it is not in fact Christmas and finals have yet to begin. Should I start studying for finals…? Ok. After I finish my drink. Next week.”

 

  • “Oh it’s so warm and comforting as I gulp my liquid happy place. It warms my whole body…like really warm, why is it this warm? It’s actually piping hot.. I now realize I’ve spilled it on myself. But not to worry, I’m not embarrassed nor am I concerned (about anything) during the entirety of my makeshift holiday experience. Nope. During those few minutes of consumption, nothing matters except for the reminder that Christmas is a thing and it will eventually be upon us.”

 

  • “I can get through this day! I can get through this semester! I can run for President of United States!” You’ve now entered the false-sense-of-confidence phase of ingesting too much caffeine. But don’t worry, by the time you finish your ambitious to-do list, you’re riding the downward spiral of a post-caffeine crash. You tell yourself it’s all about the intentions, though. Reassurance is key. So go email the people in charge of the triathlon you just registered for and withdraw your name.

 

  • “Man should I be colder than this right now? I’m drinking a holiday drink so it really should be snowing outside. Maybe I’ll put on a sweatshirt to trick my mind aaaaand awesome now I’m sweating why is it 91 degrees it’s CHRISTMAS. D*MN YOU STARBUCKS.”

 

 

Despite the few negative effects those pre-season holiday drinks induce, the regular season ones are well worth it and the playoffs are just around the corner. I’ve lost my train of thought. But go Spurs! Alright well I’m off to Starbs, merry Christmas to all and to all a Peppermint Mocha. #basically