It’s Not Weird That I Blogged About This

I have this friend – we’ll call him Tony (because that’s his name). Tony is small, but what he lacks in size he makes up for in wit. He is clever and cunning and WAY cuter than his bigger and older brother Timmy. Timmy is bordering on obesity and completely self-unaware.

Fine they’re my dogs. Timmy and Tony are our shih tzus and yes, they are named after Tim Duncan and Tony Parker. To say we are obsessed with the Spurs is a bit of an understatement – my middle name on Facebook was Manu Ginobili until popular opinion was that that’s weird. So naming our dogs after the Spurs is a relatively normal thing for us to do.

What’s weirder than their names is how much time we spend analyzing them. Ok how much time I spend analyzing them. This summer I had a lot of free time and very few friends near me so, yeah, I spent an inappropriate amount of time hanging out with my dogs.

Timmy and Tony are complete opposites. People seem to think they are basically the same dog and this is insulting. I don’t believe Timmy has ever had an original thought. Tony, on the other hand, is incredibly manipulative and deceitful. However, he is my favorite. While he is cold toward everyone and extremely selective with the wags of his tail, he is the master of his own fate. Timmy begs to be loved by everyone while Tony holds people at a distance until he resentfully grants permission.

It’s not that I don’t love Timmy. It’s just that I don’t respect him.

Even their facial expressions are contrasting. Timmy has a permanent, mindless, toothy grin plastered across his face – in good times and bad. This is a seemingly admirable trait, but it’s actually annoying because there is no reason for it. Why are you smiling? There is literally no rationale for this smile. Nothing is happening right now. Stop. It’s irritating.

Tony, alternatively, always appears to be peering out of the corner of his eye – never quite looking at anything straight on. This, though, is not out of fear or hesitation, but rather it’s a result of the way he approaches everything in life. He is contemplative, cautious, always prudent. Of course, Tony takes risks occasionally but they are always calculated and rarely impulsive.

“Dancing Through Life” from Wicked depicts Timmy.

(While that is my favorite song from Wicked, I’d rather not be around someone who actually lives that way. Like, have goals.)

If I were to choose one word to describe each of them, Tony’s would be “indifferent” and Timmy’s would be a word that means “doesn’t have thoughts, barely exists.” I’m still on a search for that particular word. Maybe a French word?

If you were to try to pet Timmy, he would oblige immediately. Are you a serial killer? Have you robbed an elderly person? Unimportant. You are welcome to pet me says Timmy. Tony (if it were at all realistic) would put you through a series of personality tests, physical fitness exams, possibly the MCAT, and even then wouldn’t be all too thrilled to have you petting him.

I’ll admit, sometimes it’s exhausting hanging out with Tony. I feel like I have to impress him, like I’m never good enough. But at the same time, it’s so rewarding when he actually looks me in the eye or acknowledges my presence. I could show Timmy “Old Yeller” and his expression wouldn’t change. That’s very revealing.

I love Timmy and Tony equally; I just like Tony more. Needless to say, I should probably stop typing and go hang out with my human friends.

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