Today started off as any other day: I woke up with the intention of going to cycling, decided it was too early for that, went back to sleep, woke up at another, more humane hour, went to starbs, made eggs, watched the Today Show, got dressed, and went to class. I realize I’ve offered far too many details. Anyways. As I entered the doors of my Marketing class, I was shocked and disappointed to see that my friend Collin was nowhere to be found. I had to sit – every college student’s worst nightmare – ALONE.
Everyone shot me condescending, knowing glances and (silently) burst aloud with laughter at my heartbreaking loneliness. It was as if people had to physically restrain themselves from jumping out of their chairs and pointing at me. Everyone in the class had someone to sit next to. Everyone, that is, except me. After texting Collin to ask him where he was and lying about having a test today so he would freak out and come to class (to no avail; he answered hours later, unconcerned), it was time to begin class. My professor called roll. When he got to Collin, he looked around for an answer and after a few moments, his glance landed on me. I could tell he already knew where Collin was, or more truthfully, where Collin wasn’t. And the chair next to me was where Collin was not. I recognize that those last few sentences were complicated to understand; I’ll wait a bit so you can re-read them.
Alright time’s up. I searched my vocal chords for a voice but I could not locate it. My professor’s judgmental smirk distracted my mind from comprehending his question and I just sat there and began to sweat. Eventually he accepted the fact that I was not going to admit that Collin was not here and that consequently, I was alone. He raised and lowered his eyebrows as if to suggest that my entire life up until this point had been a complete waste and that he was not surprised that my seatmate failed to show up. His face silently read, “If I sat next to you, I wouldn’t show up either.”
To be fair, I fabricated this entire scene and no one in the class even noticed Collin’s absence. In fact, I didn’t even notice for about 10 minutes. Sorry Collin.